Stories
What follows are several stories written by a certain Mr. Palooza over the years. Who is this man Palooza, you may ask? Well, it's just another alter ego of your friend Phruity, who is, in turn, Jeff. Got it?
Please feel free to devour these tasty morsels of useless, uninspired and undesired wit.
Disclaimer: Reading some of these stories may cause the reader to become gravely despondent.
Man Leaves Heart, Wallet, Keys In San Francisco
Scottsdale, AZ — Returning yesterday from a memorable trip to the City by the Bay, local computer software salesman Walt Frier was both wistful and dismayed…
Grammy’s Breadbasket
Malcolm crouched warily on the front porch, knees popping like bubble wrap as his body slowly descended to a level below the railing. No porch light was ablaze, nor streetlight.
The Cinderella Slap (A Fairy Tale)
A young man named Sidney awoke late one morning, squinting and groaning—the after effects of a hard night of drinking and dancing at the local tavern, the Rusty Spur.
Local Man Enjoys Serendipity of Finishing Jar of Mayonnaise on Day It Expires
ATTICA, NY — Local artist Bart Mathews experienced a joyful rarity today…
Clive’s Kangaroo Burgers
Clive was an Australian national, and a die-hard one at that. There wasn’t a Crocodile Dundee movie he didn’t own, a cute little koala bear he didn’t adore, or a Foster’s Beer commercial at which he didn’t chuckle.
Students See London, France, No One’s Underpants
CHICAGO, IL - Tim Daniels, 22, and Mark Suthers, 23, recent graduates of Northwestern University’s School of Business Administration, returned from Europe yesterday.
Billy’s Colossal Bubble
From the time Billy got his first baby teeth, he loved to chew. Anything and everything he could get his hands on went in his mouth, in order to test its degree of pleasure and chewability.
Big Star Admits He Doesn’t Like The Beatles
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Megastar actor and comedian Jim Carrey admitted on Friday…
Area YMCA To Institute Step-Aerobics Program
BAD AXE, MI — Harriet Evans, director of the Bad Axe Regional YMCA, today announced an innovative new program at her center.
Local Man Lies About Having “Big Plans This Weekend”
UTICA, MI — After weeks of shamefully having to respond, “Nothing much” when asked about his potential big plans for the weekend…